When it comes to the unknown - folks would say the hardest part is just ‘showing up.’ Think about it – when you are on your first date with someone new, stepping foot into a gym for those new year resolutions or preparing to move to a new location – anything can happen at any given moment. Nine times out of ten, it is something that the person was prepared for beforehand, and a decision (was most likely) made to be ready, available, and take a leap of faith on a new (and hopefully a positive) experience.
However, what about the other side of the equation? The unknown or unexpected? The injury that occurred lifting weights, the fire that broke out from your next-door neighbor’s residence that impacted your home, or changes of behavior from someone you thought you knew well (from sweet to sour, or narcissistic behavior). Maybe it's the loss of a significant relationship – from either a break-up, ghost-like behavior, or worse an unexpected death. Let us be transparent for a moment: does anyone ever decide to get married just to get a divorce? Does anyone decide to go to the gym (pay a monthly fee) just to quit after spending months and money on the place? Or does anyone move into a new place/residence just to destroy it upon arrival? My answer to each of these questions would be a resounding ‘NO.’ Whether mild or major – the annoying ‘fear factor’ of the unexpected was very much present, forcing us to ask, "why is this happening?" Because it is one of the elements of this journey called life.
In addition to experiencing and coping with the unexpected, everyone will encounter another element known as grief. Grief (itself) is a combination of several factors including (but not limited to): fear of the unknown, anger, sadness, as well as love, lessons, hope, and greatness. When grief does show up (unannounced), often it is not welcomed. In fact – it is viewed as that ‘unwelcome’ guest, who shows up whenever and wherever they want to – regardless of the event or who is nearby. It is just there…in your mind, your eyes, your sigh, your body language, the tone of your voice, the room, a song, book, the dialogue, the photo – its presence can be felt on so many levels by different people.